Making feedback more fruitful

Making feedback more fruitful

Feedback can often feel like a spoonful of cod liver oil – you know it’s meant to be good for you, but we don’t relish it. And it can be hard to hear when you mainly hear about the things that are going wrong. You might wish someone also made time to tell you what’s going right? You’re doing your best after all….

And how often are you giving feedback to others? Research tells us that receiving regular (weekly), useful, feedback is one of the key factors for working at our best. Yet I often find people receive far less than this. 

Giving useful feedback is a key responsibility of all managers and an important skill for those of us who work with others. Below I’ve outlined a few principles about what good feedback looks like from research into productivity and staff performance. I hope these are useful whether you’re wanting more useful feedback for yourself or wanting to improve the feedback you offer others.

Let’s focus on useful feedback: rather than ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ feedback

Feedback should be useful and constructive – whether it concerns what is working well or what is not working well. ‘Feedback’ is simply information which enables a system or process to adapt. If ‘feedback’ doesn’t enable learning and improvement then it isn’t feedback – it’s criticism (generalised negative comments) or praise (generalised positive comments). Criticism has no place in the respectful and productive workplace. Praise is less useful than feedback, and arguably also has its downsides.

But we need to get the ratio right: we need to hear five times as much about what works than what doesn’t. Feedback about what works is the fertiliser prepares the ground to receive the tougher-to-hear feedback about problems. So don’t neglect the fertiliser!

Ensure it’s useful

How can you know what feedback is useful? Simply ask – would you value some feedback? What would you like feedback on? What format works best for you – written, a chat after the event etc?

Providing useful feedback takes time: make sure you’re using your time well by focussing on the areas where feedback is most helpful. If someone already knows there’s a problem with X, it’s pointless or maybe even demotivating to be told it again. If they’ve asked for you to look at Y, they are more likely to be receptive to what you have to say about that. 

BOOST performance with feedback

There are a few similar models around, but I really like this BOOST model from Andi Roberts (which I’ve slightly adapted) not least as it starts with balanced: reminding us of the ratio in favour of what works. The other aspect of balanced is that we invite feedback as well as offering it. If you’re in a position of power then others might take some encouragement to offer feedback. You can help by avoiding being defensive and showing you’re listening by acting on what you hear. 

Ownership is important too – we might avoid speaking directly for fear of offending but being clear is critical. And this cuts both ways – we need to feel feedback is sincere, so that’s going to require us to take time to observe and notice what others are doing well so we can let them know directly.

Providing useful feedback is an essential skill for any manager, and we cover feedback skills and practice on a number of the courses I run in-house for organisations and as open online courses. Get in touch if you’re interested in finding out more about training. And let me know how you get on with the BOOST model. 

Why do I run? A story about understanding motivation

Why do I run? A story about understanding motivation

It’s raining outside as I write this but I would love to be out there running right now. These days I rarely need to motivate myself to lace up my trainers, but for many years it wasn’t like that. So I’m going to tell you a story about running, but it’s not really about running. Instead I want to illustrate what I’ve learned about motivation and how to tap into it. You might hate running – and I’m really not aiming to convert you – but running is how I learn a lot of my life lessons. The secrets of endurance running certainly helped me get through the LockDown.

Over time the reasons I run have changed

When I started running in my 30s it was because I saw it as a way to lose weight. I’d been relatively fit before having kids but gained weight with both pregnancies. I’d run a few times a week to try and get back into my favourite jeans.

I entered a few 10km races to encourage myself to train more consistently. Without a race to aim for I’d not get around to training. This motivational technique is called ‘accountability’ – holding yourself to account by committing to things (or people). It wasn’t easy to fit running in at that stage in my life, there’s always a lot to do when you have small kids – and you don’t have a lot of spare energy. I didn’t really enjoy running much at this time, I had been a decent runner as a kid and plodding round slowly wasn’t great for my self-esteem. But when I entered a race, I usually managed to go out and run a bit more.

Carrot and stick

This is classic ‘extrinsic’ motivation – also known as the ‘carrot and stick’ approach. We encourage ourselves and others via rewards and threats. You tell yourself ‘if you don’t run you’ll be fat, if you keep running you’ll get back into your jeans’. It rarely gets the best out of us – and we rarely enjoy the process. If you hate running, it might be because you’ve done it for extrinsic reasons (get fit, lose weight, because you feel you ‘ought to’).

Research shows extrinsic motivation can be damaging to performance at work. It can reduce creativity and the levels of threat or reward needed to keep producing the same results have to increase over time to produce the same results. But in the short-term in can help with unpleasant tasks we don’t much want to do – like running!

I accidentally discovered the limitations of extrinsic motivation when I once bribed my kids to wash my bike for me. They were about 5-6 years old at the time, and offering them 50p for the job that seems like a good deal to me. It worked like a dream the first time and I thought I’d cracked parenting (and keeping my bike clean). But next time I asked them to clean my bike the youngest just shrugged and demanded £2.

Tapping into intrinsic motivation

So if carrot and stick is a bad idea, what works better? Research tells us the trick is to find a way to satisfy your inner motivators: mastery, purpose and autonomy. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was about to tap into mastery and purpose in my running.

I’d always wanted to do a marathon. So I decided to set myself a bigger challenge and enter a half marathon (a sense of purpose). I also set myself the target of doing it in less than 2 hours: a respectable target for a woman in my age group (ie slightly past it, athletically speaking). And I was chuffed with myself when I crossed the line in 1:56 – I felt I had done well (that’s mastery kicking in). A year later, I stepped up to train for my first marathon. I had wanted to run a marathon this since being inspired by Ingrid Kristiansen in the 80s (purpose again). Even the training felt exciting – each week the ‘long run’ in my training schedule became longer than I had every run before. Every week I was pushing myself – it was the first time I’d run 14 miles, 15 miles, 18 miles… each week felt like a new achievement (that’s mastery fuelling me, although at the time it was mainly tea and Haribo Starmix).

Again I set myself a target time – I wanted to complete in sub 4 hrs, which is considered a respectable marathon time for a beginner at my age. Paris was a good choice – a glamourous route around a city I love – that helped too (purpose – ‘any excuse to go to Paris’ I thought).

Carrots aren’t always bad for you

I crossed the line in 3:56, delighted. I had achieved my goal and work and family commitments meant I didn’t run regularly after that for a few years until I met two new friends who had just entered the York Marathon. I joined them for some of their training runs. But cheering Julie and Miyako on race day I wished I was racing not stood on the sidelines. My extrinsic motivation had been re-activated. I thought I could improve on my PB (mastery). This drive to improve saw me running at least two marathons a year for the next few years. Each time the desire to achieve a faster time helped me finds the will to make space in a very busy working-mum diary to fit in 4-5 runs a week of up to 20 miles.

Extrinsic motivation has limitations but isn’t all bad – there were times when that competitive edge drove me to dig in and perform better. One time I had set off a too fast in a race and suddenly I hit the infamous ‘wall’ around 22 miles. I went from striding easily with confidence to slowing suddenly, feeling like my legs were made of a strange combination of jelly and concrete. I reached my lowest point around mile 24 when a runner in a Bat Man costume overtook me and something snapped (pride, I think) so I dug in to beat the caped-crusader, also managing to set a new PB and qualify for London and Boston marathons.

Running for the joy of it

As a runner there comes a point when you stop getting faster, especially if you start running in your late 30s. So how do you keep running when you aren’t getting better any more and so mastery can no longer motivate you?

A few years ago my appetite for yet another gruelling 16-week marathon training schedule, where success or failure on race day rested on fine-tuning my pace by a few seconds here or there, started to wane. And few road race courses are as inspiring as Paris. Slogging around ring roads of cities and towns in huge groups; queuing for loos at the start – none of this appealed any more. So I got more and more into smaller races and off-road running. After doing a few 10km and 15km trail races I entered my first trail Ultra – a 55km loop around the Lakes. I’ve since gone on to do a 50 mile mountain race and run the 191 mile Coast-to-Coast route.

Increasingly running has become about the places I go and the people I run with – both for training runs and events. When my husband enters a big race in the alps I go along for 3-day training runs in those magnificent hills to help him prepare (purpose). And I have had many weekends away racing in the Lakes over the last few pre CV19 years with my friends. Instead of being about the races, running has become just the medium for getting into the hills with my mates, enjoying fresh air, visiting new and amazing places. My purpose and motivation has shifted – although I’m wise enough now to tap into that extrinsic motivation when I need to get up a big hill! 

Making the most of motivation

Looking back on my relationship with running I can clearly see how intrinsic and extrinsic motivation has helped me, and deserted me, at times.

Understanding what can motivate us can be incredibly helpful at work, and in life. Many clients I’m working with as a coach will find themselves puzzled as to why they seem to have ‘lost’ their motivation. Managers of teams and organisations often wonder how they can motivate others better, or puzzle at why those around them are less enthusiastic or committed than them. Assessing those intrinsic motivation factors usually quickly helps us pinpoint the problem and generate ideas about how to fix it.

There are two lessons for me around motivation and how we can use it:

1. When possible, tap into intrinsic motivation: mastery, purpose and autonomy

Intrinsic motivation is like Green energy. It’s renewable and it doesn’t cause bad side effects. So wherever possible, stick to intrinsic motivation.

If you’re feeling less than excited about something you need to do simply ask yourself which of these ‘ingredients’ is missing and what options you have to increase them:

Autonomy – what would offer you more freedom around how you do this? What can you control? What are you assuming about how it needs to be done? Do you really have to do this?

Mastery – where is the opportunity for growth, learning or development? Might this task help you secure your next job or contract? Is there something you could usefully learn from this project that might be helpful for another area of your work?

Purpose – what could you achieve through this that would have meaning for you? What would it take for you to feel successful?

The same technique applies to those you are working with. If they are less excited about something than you, put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself how could I offer them more opportunities for autonomy, mastery or purpose? What might I be doing that gets in the way – am I being too controlling or prescriptive? Am I asking them to do something without explaining why or something they don’t think is useful? Am I expecting people to work in a way that doesn’t offer a chance to do things well and develop? Or better still, have that conversation with them directly.

2. Use the carrot and stick sparingly

There will always be times when we need that extra nudge to want to do something hard, boring or repetitive – and that’s when extrinsic motivation can be useful.

I often plan my longest, hardest training runs to finish where I can refuel with a hearty brunch or, better still, fish and chips. In a work context, sometimes it can be as simple as doing the tough task first in the morning, so you can then ‘enjoy’ the rest of your day. Or give yourself an incentive – once I get these invoices done I can have a cup of tea.

Habits are another way of motivating ourselves to do things we know we ought to (but find ourselves reluctant to do). The more we can ensure helpful behaviours become habitual, the more likely we are to stick to them.

We all have days when we feel more motivated than others, and parts of what we do that we enjoy more than others. Extrinsic motivation can help with those ‘necessary evils’ in life and at work, but we’ll get more done when we discover our intrinsic energy. Understanding motivation so we can spot what’s missing, decide what type of motivation to tap into and generate some ideas about how to grow our intrinsic motivators can help us get the best from ourselves, and other people around us.

Want to master your motivation? Get in touch for a chat about how coaching might help.

Keeping going: the art of momentum

Keeping going: the art of momentum

Recently I had an enquiry about help maintaining commitment of a team through a period of long-term incremental change.

Creating a big change can be dramatic and our excitement can provide the energy needed to make it happen. Incremental or ongoing smaller changes are just as important but need resourcing in a different way – excitement can only get you so far. 

I’ve been involved in helping people create change for over a decade and one of the lessons I’ve learned is that it usually takes (a lot) longer than you think. And sometimes we run out of steam to fully complete what we started. So how can we keep going, how can we maintain our momentum?

This question about maintaining energy for change struck a chord with me. Not only as a coach, but also as someone involved in endurance sport I often find myself helping others keep going, literally and metaphorically. Yesterday Facebook reminded me it was 3 years ago this weekend that I ran alongside my friend Miyako through the dark on the last leg of a 60-mile ultra to help her keeping going. Later this evening I’ll be packing my kit to support another friend on another endurance adventure in the dark this weekend. So before I go and look for my head torch and compass, here are some of my favourite resources around keeping going professionally.

Be clear what you want to achieve (and why)

Research tells us a clear and exciting goal is more likely to happen than a vague or bland one. The ExACT goal-setting model is a great way to generate clarity and energy. Write your goal down, look at it often, and make sure what you’re doing every day contributes to it.

Give yourself some feedback on how it’s going

Reflecting on how things are going has two main benefits: it helps us learn about what works (and doesn’t) and therefore improve in future, but it also can help with motivation.

Reflection needs to focus on what’s within your control, to be honest, appreciative and future-focused. The questions I use most often with coachees to help them reflect can be found here. I also regularly ask myself these same questions and without fail I find they help me feel more motivated and confident.

Pace yourself

Endurance requires us to move at a pace we can sustain. In a work sphere that means not trying to achieve too much, too quickly. This sounds simple but by Monday 5pm each week I’ve usually forgotten this and worn myself out….

A very simple tool we can use when we have too much on the ‘to do’ list is to prioritise: what needs to happen today; what can wait until tomorrow, or next week or month; what could wait until next ‘term’. Try listing out each task on a separate Post It note and moving them into different time zones on a big sheet of paper.

Get some peer support

Finally, whilst there is a lot we can do to motivate ourselves – we can do more when we support and are supported by others. Mutual support is part of the ethos of long distance running (like the Bob Graham Round that I’m supporting this weekend).

For anyone looking for peer support (and learning) you might be interested in joining an Action Learning set. I offer ‘open’ Action Learning sets about 3 times year, and the next one will be starting after Easter 2022 – sign up to my newsletter to hear more once dates are fired up, or get in touch.

Right – I’d best go and pack. In the meantime there’s only a few weeks now until we launch the first of the new courses I’ve co-designed with Isabel Mortimer so if you’d like some new tools and skills to help you a great manager or be a great team leader don’t miss these courses.

Habits: small steps towards lasting change

Habits: small steps towards lasting change

Unfortunately, despite being fully vaccinated, I caught COVID 19 recently. And whilst the acute symptoms lasted only a week I’ve been left feeling very tired – as often happens after a nasty virus. Much as I’d love to return immediately to my usual level of activity, I realise that it’s important to take time to recover properly.

Whilst I am generally manage to attend to the bigger tasks to keep myself healthy, like fitting in a long run once a week, I’m not always so good at the smaller things that are just as important. But taking care of your health involves doing lots of little things on a regular basis – sticking to ‘good’ habits and avoiding ‘bad’ ones. Some of the habits I’m trying to stick to currently to recover from the virus include:

  • Getting early nights – going to bed by 10pm
  • Eating well – including drinking ‘recovery shakes
  • Doing 15 mins stretching and conditioning daily
  • Practising 15 mins daily reflection – what went well/ less well and what I want to do differently. 

Creating new habits is a topic that crops up often in coaching conversations and I recommend James Clear’s Atomic Habits as a useful resource. As this brilliant book outlines, there are two main reasons why habits are helpful: 

  1. Firstly, goals or one-off achievements are often the main focus of our work in organisations or via coaching. But habits help us to focus on the building-blocks of discipline that underpin success – the daily tasks or behaviours which are just as important to creating success.
  2. Secondly, the more of our daily tasks become habitual then the more ‘headspace’ that leaves for other things. Through repetition if we can reinforce our positive behaviours so they become automatic, we can focus instead other activities that require more effort and attention. 

Clear suggests there are 4 main ways we can help ourselves get into a good habit:

  1. Make it obvious
  2. Make it (more) attractive
  3. Make it easy
  4. Make it satisfying

It’s a great book, and I’d encourage you to read the whole thing – but as a taster for coachees I created a ‘crib sheet’ which includes some of the top tips that help us stick to the good habits. And I’ve used some of these techniques to help me stay on track over the next few weeks with these habits.

Getting early nights – going to bed by 10pm

First up, make it obvious. It’s important to be specific and simple – 10pm is more useful than ‘early’. There’s no ambiguity if there’s a specific time. Reminders are another way to make it obvious – personally I find a reminder on my phone 30 mins before I need to do something useful.

Eating well – including drinking ‘recovery’ shakes with my breakfast 

These are not tasty! I’ve made it easier by setting up the equipment to make them (a blender and the ingredients) in the kitchen. It’s obvious because I’ve left that stuff next to the kettle – the first thing I do each day is make a pint of tea so I am reminded then to make the shake. And I’ve made it more attractive by buying some frozen fruit I can add to the mix to disguise the taste.

Doing 15 mins stretching daily

This is something I find very hard to stick to, as here’s no obvious reward to doing these activities. Do them and they help avoid you getting injured, but if you skip them there’s no immediate bad consequence. 

One of my favourite tips from this book is about making it obvious via habit ‘stacking’ – scheduling a new habit to be directly before/ after something you always do to help you remember to do it. So I do these 15 minutes of exercise after breakfast each morning, in the same room, at the same time, and I have the equipment I need (a yoga mat and resistance band) ready on hand – making it easy. It’s basically all about taking any thought or effort out of it – so nothing gets in the way. 

Practising 15 mins daily reflection – what went well/ less well and what I want to do differently. 

Again, I know I should do this but I often struggle to do this regularly. I’ve found being unwell and needing to slow down tough mentally. Making time for reflection will help make sure I’m not overdoing it and also help my motivation, especially if I use these coaching-style reflection questions.

Making it obvious by sticking to a regular time slot helps, so I’ve identified 30 mins each evening when it’s normally quiet. And I’ve set myself a reminder on my smart phone to make it even more obvious. Plus whereas before I was taking notes on my laptop I’m now using a note-taking app to jot down my thoughts to make it easy. So far I’m managing about 50% of the time – which is a start!

And  – finally – as an overall reminder of these healthy habits as well as having a ‘to do’ list each week, I now have a simple checklist of the daily/ weekly regular tasks (or habits) which is next to my desk and which I tick off. There’s a simple satisfaction to ticking things off and feeling like you’ve accomplished a small step. And the list also serves as a visual cue or reminder to do these things, once again, making it obvious

As Clear concludes, creating habitscan be hard because a lot of these behaviours are not satisfying in the short-term. When cause-effect are disconnected we are less inclined towards changing our behaviour. With ‘good behaviours’ the effort or inconvenience is short-term, whereas and the payback days or weeks, or even years, later.

But at least we can give ourselves a helping hand by using these 4 simple tips from behavioural psychology to make these habits more likely to take root. 

Setting yourself up for success through accountability

Setting yourself up for success through accountability

Want to do or change something but know you’re going to find it a struggle? Maybe you;ve tried before and not managed it? Find yourself setting goals or committing to new habits which you find it hard to stick to? Then accountability could be your friend….

When we commit ourselves to achieving something specific and measurable we are more likely to achieve it. Research shows that simply the act of writing it down, or saying it aloud, or rather than thinking it to ourselves means we are more likely to do it. That’s why on training courses you are often encouraged to share publicly the actions you plan to take – as trainers know that’s more likely to embed your learning by leading to practice.

As with any goal, to work well accountability requires clarity – if we say ‘I want to get fitter’ we are less likely to succeed than if we commit to ‘I want to walk 3 miles every day’. And, again as per goal-setting generally, we are more likely to put in the effort required if we own the goal as opposed to if someone else has told us to do it. 

I’ve sometimes noticed, as a consultant, a reluctance to clarify measure of success – perhaps because the client fears failure and so being a bit fuzzy about the outcomes allows this question of success to be fudged. It’s true, some things are harder to measure than others, but we can usually make a reasonable assessment ifwe want to.

So accountability can be really simple to achieve – writing it down our goal and sticking it somewhere we’ll see it often can be enough to create the focus we need and encourage action.

Struggling with something and need to take accountability up a notch? Then bring in a social aspect to accountability – tell other people what you intend to do. If you’ve posted on social media that you’re going to run 13 miles that day when it starts rainin and the voice in your head suggests after 6 miles that you could just stop, then the prospect of telling others you didn’t stick to your word can help you keep going.

If you’ve committed yourself publicly to doing something that sense of shame if we have to admit we’ve failed can create another level of accountability. Just as knowing the support and recognition you’re likely to receive can help motivate. It’s like using the carrot and stick technique on yourself. 

I was reminded of the power of social accountability when I accepted to sign a Twitter pledge recently not to fly in 2021. I had already decided (pre CV19) not to fly in 2020 and had planned holidays in locations we could reach by car or train, but I was wavering about a race in the Dolomites I have entered for June 2021. Getting there without flights would be very difficult without a lot of additional cost and travel time (days, not hours, extra). But once I’d signed this pledge (and publicly shared in on Twitter, where random strangers had ‘liked’ my pledge) I felt more accountable for this commitment already.

Arguably this technique isn’t too healthy or effective to rely on long-term but it can offer a boost when things are tough and you need that little extra push to keep going. For example, we know that when you start running if you arrange to go for a run with another person you are less likely to change your mind and skip that day. However once you’ve developed a habit of running and begin to enjoy it (honestly, that does happen) then you don’t need the social accountability of a running buddy to get out of the door each day. 

As a coach I offer accountability to coachees – encouraging them to set themselves clear targets, specific actions to follow up between sessions, and checking in to see how they are progressing. I’m careful as a coach not to judge ‘success’ in following up goals or actions – that’s for the coachee to determine, they might not have completed an action because they had other priorities or their goals might evolve over time. 

But accountability – in the traditional sense of holding oneself to account does have its uses. Above all else, it helps us keep ourselves honest about what really matters to us and whether we do what we say we want to. 

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