Amazon lists over 100,000 books about coaching. If you were to read only one title on this subject Time to Think by Nancy Kline would be a great choice. It’s a simple, effective, radical and highly compassionate approach. There’s plenty of research to back up the assertions in the book but I really like that her approach arose through her observations as a teacher and coach.
At its simplest, the Time to Think approach involves enabling someone’s best thinking by listening intently to them and using ‘incisive questions’ to remove any blocks that might be limiting that thinking. It sounds simple – and it is which I really like. But this simplicity can also be very powerful. The principles of this approach have application way beyond 1-2-1 coaching into leadership, parenting, education, politics etc.
Kline believes people do their best thinking when we create what she terms a ‘Thinking Environment’; and she identifies ten ‘components’. You don’t have to adopt the model in its entirety. Instead I see the Thinking Environment as a useful checklist in my work as a coach and facilitator. If you are involved in supporting others to develop and perform well then I think there’ll be something on this list you will find useful.
Her book offers a whole chapter exploring each component. Below I’ve briefly summarised each one to offer a taste of the book (go read it!):
Attention
Listening to others without interruption or judgment and with keen interest in their thought and perspective.
The power of being really listened to, and the impact of not feeling heard, is hard to convey – it has to be experienced. If you’re interested in experimenting with ways of listening then try this short Liberating Structures exercise Heard, Seen and Respected.
Incisive questions
Noticing the assumptions which might be limiting thinking and replacing with a freeing alternative. For example, if you’ve always seen yourself as shy and unable to speak up in meetings ask yourself ‘if I had all the confidence in the world, what I say?’. If you only try one thing from this book make it use a few incisive questions. The number of times I’ve seen individuals and teams completely transform their thinking when I’ve asked these beautiful hypothetical questions….
Equality
Treating each other as peers. In the workplace we have been conditioned to listen to those other power, as if their ideas are better. When I’m facilitating a group I like to highlight and challenge this assumption head-on when we talk about how the group wants to work together.
There’s a fun acronym I picked up from Henry Stewart for one such assumption – the HIPPO (Highest Paid Person’s Opinion). I suggest to a group that there is no evidence that suggests people in more senior positions have better ideas than their junior colleagues, so invite them to banish the HIPPO.
There are some very simple techniques Kline uses with groups to encourage equality. These include turn-taking where everyone is invited to speak at the start (and again at the end) of any meeting. Interestingly, recent research at Google has shown that equality of contribution in meetings was a feature of the highest performing teams.
Appreciation
Kline states her research suggests a minimum ratio of five pieces of appreciation for every critical comment is needed to avoid defensiveness and encourage our best thinking.
One practical way to keep things weighted in favour of the positive I sometimes use in a review situation is to invite people to identify 3 things they like about an idea or situation, and only 1 thing they would improve or do differently.
Ease
Kline added this condition later, noticing the festishisation of busyness and urgency in many workplaces and how this was the enemy of creative thinking. As an endurance runner, I am reminded of the importance of pace – if we set off too fast we crash and burn. Trying to go too fast is a mistake at work too – resisting the pressure to rush, to do too much is important to ensure we perform at our best.
Encouragement
Again this runs counter a common but unhelpful assumption that competition produces the best outcomes. As has been thoroughly documented in Daniel Pink’s book about motivation Drive, competition is only useful in a very limited range of situations and in most workplace scenarios will produce worse results. For complex and creative situations we need collaboration not competition. Encouraging, rather than trying to beat, one another will serve us better.
Feelings
Counter to the prevailing attitude (in Yorkshire at least) that tears and emotions more generally have no place in the workplace, Kline suggests acknowledging emotions enabling better thinking. Shutting down emotions, seeing them as unhelpful, can prevent clear thinking and anecdotally I have seen many times a coachee suddenly come to a new realisation after a short episode of tears – as if allowing themselves to acknowledge their feelings has shifted their thinking.
There’s a great, very simple, exercise I build feelings into group conversations – using the 4F review framework in which a group considers Facts, Feelings, Findings (implications) and Future (plans) in turn. The simple inclusion of feelings as part of the data gathering helps generate better quality thinking.
Information
If someone doesn’t have the facts, or they have incorrect information, then this will prevent their best thinking. On the whole we are often too quick to offer solutions to others and Kline cautions against offering information unless we’ve fully understood the situation. As a coach you only rarely offer information to a client, but sometimes it can be very helpful. Recently in my coaching I shared a simple framework with a client to help him generate a fresh perspective on team dynamics, for example.
Diversity
When I think about the big steps forward I’ve made in my own thinking or development it has been when I’m working with someone whose style, perspective and experience has been very different to my own. Difference can make things tricky at first, and be unsettling, but our best work happens when we can find ways to embrace rather than stifle or avoid it.
Place
If the physical space in which we’re working says to us ‘you matter’ then this is helpful. Reading stories online of how people who’ve been forced suddenly to work from home have transformed their corner of a room into a better space to think seems to underline this.
What I love about this book is the simplicity of the model and the ability therefore for anyone to put into practice things that will contribute to creating better outcomes across all areas of society: work, home, community action. Part two of the book is filled with practical examples of how to put these principles into action in organisations and teams, as well as 1-2-1 conversations. Anyone with any kind of leadership role – whether a coach, manager, team leader, parent, teacher – can take away some useful tools from this book.
Maybe this list has whetted your appetite to find out more and read the book for yourself, or given you a few pointers about how you could best support someone else’s best thinking?
When I first trained as a Relational Dynamics coach over a decade ago, a key principle of this programme was that we learn a huge amount about coaching from being coached ourselves. Therefore in that training model trainee coachees are coached and reflect on their experiences as coachees throughout as a core strand of their learning.
At first I would notice little things which might undermine trust, for example of the coach glanced at their watch – probably just to check the time – I’d wonder if they were really listening to me, or was I boring them? Next time I coached someone else I’d make sure my watch was easily visible to me so I could avoid that mistake. Another time a fellow coach asked me to complete a short questionnaire before our first session that included some interesting and powerful questions that really made me think – so (with permission) I adapted those questions and created my own preparatory questionnaire.
As coaches we can learn a huge amount through being coached
Even after qualifying as a coach, I still think it’s valuable to continue to experience first-hand being coached on a regular basis when you work as a coach. Yes I go on courses and read books about coaching, but most of my learning as a coach comes through direct experience of coaching (and reflection about it). As a coach I keep a reflective log and work with a supervisor, but I also take regular steps to learn through being coached. Over the past 12 months I have worked with a life coach on parenting; a running coach to help me prepare for a new challenge; and with fellow member of my local coaching network via their paired ‘co-coaching’ scheme on developing my business. I’ve also been a member of an Action Learning set (arguably a form of group coaching) for nearly a decade.
I don’t believe there’s one best way to be a coach…
…and hopefully any good coach will adapt how they work to their client anyway, so I enjoy experiencing a wide variety of coaching styles and seeing a range of professionals in action. So when I was reflecting recently about how I want to develop my coaching I started by thinking about some of the brilliant coaches I know and have worked with, and which of their qualities I would most like to grow more in my own work.
My first coach was a local legend and his athletes were legendary too
The first coach I remember was my very first running coach when I was around 12-13 years old. Roland was a bit of a legend at my running club because his group of athletes were by far the best around and also they worked notoriously hard. So when I was invited to ‘move up’ to his group I was equally intimidated by the hard work I knew would be involved and flattered that he had confidence in my potential. At that time I was very much a middle of the pack club-runner, but he trained people who won races and ran for the country. Surely enough within two years of working with R I was transformed as a runner: I had won several cross -country races and been selected to run for the county.
Looking back now as a coach at this, what I’d like to take from Roland’s example is the power of accountability. I’m not suggesting I want coachees to be afraid of me as coach (and let’s be perfectly clear he was a lovely chap – hard as nails but good-hearted), but that combination of encouragement and challenge captures something fundamental about the coach-coachee relationship for me. When a coach helps you to aim high you don’t want to let yourself down. At times that can feel like really hard work and the *fun* bit is that no-one else can do that work for you (and just look how much the younger me is trying in that photo!). The running coach literally stands at the side of the track cheering you on and observing how you are doing, but they aren’t the ones gritting their teeth!
Be more Isabel
At the other end of the spectrum is S, my current life coach, with whom I’m working on parenting my teenagers. She will challenge me to be clear, to focus on what’s in my control and not just talk about what I’m finding hard – but she also, very skilfully, offers encouragement because she can see that a lot of the time I’m being highly critical of myself as a parent. In doing this she enables me to notice my judgment is ‘off’ and I’m being too hard on myself at times. Her interventions help me see my own bias in how I’m interpreting and handling situations, which in turn means I can generate more options once those I’ve taken off those blinkers. In this she very much reminds me of my friend and associate Isabel Mortimer from whom I’ve learned a huge amount about encouragement in coaching ‘(be moreIsabel’ I regularly urge myself when I can feel I’ve over-done it on clarity and challenge with a coachee!).
Sports coaching isn’t actually always that different to leadership coaching
It is often said about coaching that the coach doesn’t need to know about the content to coach you on it – because they are not advising, they are helping you to think it through for yourself. And I’m struck that whilst I do most of my coaching with people working in charities and the arts I’ve actually learned a lot about coaching from coaches working in other disciplines: notably sports coaching. On the surface sports coaching is very different to life or business coaching because sports coaches are often eminent sports people in their own right and do offer advice at times. But many of the best sports coaches also use non-directive techniques and approaches – for example they encourage you to set your own goals and whilst the running coach I’ve worked with most recently, Kim, might offer advice about training plans she encourage me to make decisions about how best to schedule my training in a way that will fit in around my other commitments.
One of the things that has most impressed me about Kim’s coaching is how her calm focus on helping me develop a very detailed plan for the wildly ambitious things I sign up to gives me confidence I will be able do it, so long as I manage to follow the training plan. With her help I managed to complete my first 50-miler in 2019 (that big smile below is because I had finished after 12 hours in the rain and could finally have a cup of tea, a shower and a nice lie down).
There’s no judgement when I turn up to a coaching session declaring I’m going to try and do something way beyond what I’ve achieved before (like a 100 mile race 😳), just a calm ‘down to business’ conversation about how I am going to make that happen. Once or twice that’s enabled me to realise I may have bitten off more than I can chew so I might change my plans. But I decide to change my plans myself, I’m not cut down to size by someone with more experience. And more than once or twice that’s also enabled me to achieve new levels of performance. That focus on the very practical action planning side of coaching isn’t the most glamourous part of the job, but good plans build confidence, commitment and lead to success.
So, in addition to supporting me to achieve new levels of success in my running and work life, and happiness in my parenting, being coached has really helped inspire me to think about how I can be a better coach to others – focussing in 2021 on enabling high levels of motivation through accountability; offering encouragement when needed and supporting clients to develop their own world-beating plans.
Being clear about your values, as an individual or an organisation, can be a very effective way to provide direction. It can also keep you on track: by guiding decisions about what you do and how. Values are like a compass – a simple navigational device you can consult when in doubt about which way to go. As someone who loves wandering in the hills, I always take a compass in case I wonder if I’m on the right path.
So as a consultant I use values with teams wanting to develop a shared purpose and way of working. And they can be using when working as a coach too, particularly around decision-making and careers planning. Values offer an inspiring and simple framework for long-term planning and day-to-day decisions. But sometimes talking about values can feel wishy-washy. There’s nothing less inspiring than having a set of nouns than feel meaningless, or worse still hypocritical, to stakeholders.
In my experience values-based models need to be authentic, accountable, clearly defined and inclusive. Below I’ve set out some of the tools I use with coachees and organisations wanting to use their values.
Authentic: values aren’t invented, they are surfaced
The first step is to identify the values and for individuals a simple way to do this is a questionnaire.
For groups the process needs a little more structure to ensure all voices are heard. For example, this week I’ll be using Appreciative Interviews with a client team to surface their values with by sharing stories.
I’ve noticed that certain values seem to be fashionable with arts organisations (e.g. Creativity, Excellence and Diversity). But it’s important to be honest about what really matters, what defines your organisation, what guides your decisions, what is your bottom line? When you’ve drafted a short-list double check: does this capture our essence? Is there anything missing? If the list is more than 4-5 values then ask yourself – which are the key ones?
Clear: values need to be defined and embedded
Linguistically speaking values are abstract nouns, so not surprisingly the words alone can be somewhat… abstract! At worst values can be open to interpretation and mean nothing or are so vague they don’t guide you. So values need be defined – we need to ask ourselves ‘what does this value mean for how we work’?
Once you have a shortlist I suggest drafting a 1-2 sentence definition of what that value means in practice. It can also be helpful to include some of the core behaviours that demonstrate that value in action.
For example – one of my personal values is ‘Challenge’ and I define it like this: ‘wanting to create positive change, actively challenging inequality, constantly seeking to improve’.
In terms of my behaviours I think embody that value that are relevant to my work, I came up with: Not being afraid to challenge those in power. Working with clients that embrace learning via mistakes above playing it safe.
You can download my guide to defining values, which includes an example from Ripon Museum Trust, an independent museum I supported to define their values a few years ago.
Inclusive: everybody needs to be involved, and the values need to make sense to everyone
If you’re developing a values-based approach within an organisation, especially if you’re using values to inform change, then it’s crucial to involve everyone in shaping the values.
At Ripon Museum Trust, a task group of volunteers, staff and Trustees created a first ‘draft’ which was shared and refined by the wider organisation. This ensured the values resonated and could be usefully applied across everyone’s role. The kind of questions we asked were: do these values sum up what is special about RMT and important about what the organisation does? What examples can you find of these values in action now? Where do we fall short – and what would living the values more fully look like to you?
Accountable: values can be aspirational, but we need to work at ‘living’ them
It’s OK for not to be living your values 100% of the time yet. Values need to be credible but they can be aspirational too. In fact articulating your values is a great way to approach organisational change.
A good exercise for noticing whether you’re on track as a team is a simple ‘As Is/ To Be’ analysis. This involves describing together where you are now (‘as is’) and where you aspire ‘to be’, taking each value in turn. Once you’ve shared your collective wisdom as to how you’re doing, and discussed any differences of view, you can start to generate options as to how to improve.
In a coaching context, I often suggest looking at values as part of career planning if clients are faced with competing options or not sure whether the path ahead is the right one for them. I’ve developed this simple tool to help.
So – am I walking the talk? How have I used my values recently? I tend to look at them anytime I’m reflecting or planning. For example, when I was thinking about my budget for 2021 my value of Care led to the decision to continue to offer Pay What You Can coaching and also to make available free resources and tools online.
At the end of the day though, just like my compass, I think our values really come into their own in a crisis or when you’re feeling really unsure about your ‘path’. In the hills I mainly use my compass when the mist comes down and I can’t see the way ahead. And in times of massive disruption to how we normally work values can help us make bold and creative decisions too – as this blog post about Slung Low’s focus during CV19 shows.
Setting goals is a key part of coaching – imagining and articulating the destination, where we want to get to, is an essential stage in making change happen. In fact, in the popular GROW model of coaching, setting the goal is the first step – the G of GROW. We decide on the destination (Goal), before we take stock of where we are now (Reality), develop ideas and possibilities about the route from A to B (Options) before finally deciding on our course and making a detailed plan (Will).
Why goals are helpful?
There’s lots of research as to why goals are helpful in creating change:
They can be motivating – knowing where you’re heading, having imagined and articulated success generate a sense of purpose; a key ingredient in motivation. Also having clear measures of success means we are clear when we’ve achieved a goal, and have a sense of satisfaction.
Having a clear sense of where you want to be, especially if it’s exciting and a bit ‘stretching’, is proven to improve performance (see Locke’s Theory).
If you’re part of a team, having common goals means you’re all pulling in the same direction – like a train – as opposed to heading off in different directions – like a octopus.
How to create useful and motivating goals?
There’s an art to creating useful goals – the ExACT framework is one I typically use in coaching – ensuring a goal is measurable, challenging, time-based. It’s similar to the SMART objectives model that’s widely used in workplaces, but with a few important shifts of emphasis. Using a framework like ExACT helps us avoid the common mistakes of creating negative or nebulous goals – and ensures we personally find it exciting, and therefore motivating.
Goals can be written down, or sketched – but they need to be short and memorable. I like to capture mine simply – either as a table of 3-5 goals or a sketch. Currently I’ve sketched my annual goals for 2021 and have a simple table of my 3 month goals at any time – both are stuck on my office wall where I can easily see them. ‘Explicit’ means we’re more likely to have them ‘in mind’ when making decisions and therefore they are more likely to happen.
Avoid focussing on the wrong things
Equally important is to choose a goal that’s within your control – we can’t control whether we ‘secure £50K from Trusts and Foundations before end March’, but we could set a goal around ‘submitting high quality grant applications to Trusts and Foundations totalling £50K before end March’ (NB. as a former fundraiser I’d advise applying for significantly more finds than you want to secure, but that’s a bit beside the point).
And just as important when setting a goal is to focus on the outcome not the process – otherwise we risk chasing after the wrong thing. Fans of The Wire will recall what happens when the Baltimore Police leadership focus solely on numbers of arrests; it skews policework and how crime is reported, but does nothing to improve levels of crime on the streets. We need to measure what matters: the goal is probably about job satisfaction or work/life balance not ‘getting a new job’.
And, whilst ‘nailing down’ some good clear goals is always a useful process, it’s important not to get to wedded to them; goals can change as we move towards them, it’s often an iterative process.
But don’t get too hung up up goals – keep things fuzzy or revisit and revise goals if that helps you
I recently came across the concept of ‘fuzzy goals’; the notion that a sense of direction rather than a precise destination can be a useful way to proceed when the way ahead is unchartered. Having a general direction of travel, but being open to opportunities along the way, resonated with how I like to walk in the hills – I have a plan when I set off but I’ll adjust it according to the weather, my energy levels, whether I spot a nice detour, the pace we’re travelling at etc. So starting with a destination in mind, but keeping checking that’s still where you want to head given what you’re discovering en route, is another way to set goals.
The Road Map exercise can be a good place to start planning your goals, and those key milestones along the way.
Of course, goals don’t just happen – we need ideas, plans, reviews and effort – but goals are a great place to start if we want to move forward.
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